Old Thunder

Try to imagine yourself in the Cretaceous Period. You get your first look at this “six foot turkey” as you enter a clearing. He moves like a bird, lightly, bobbing his head. And you keep still because you think that maybe his visual acuity is based on movement like T-Rex - he’ll lose you if you don’t move. But no, not Velociraptor. You stare at him, and he just stares right back. And that’s when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the side, from the other two ‘raptors you didn’t even know were there. Because Velociraptor’s a pack hunter, you see, he uses coordinated attack patterns and he is out in force today. And he slashes at you with this… a six-inch retractable claw, like a razor, on the the middle toe. He doesn’t bother to bite your jugular like a lion, say… no no. He slashes at you here… or here… or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. The point is… you are alive when they start to eat you. So you know… try to show a little respect.

 

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    DUN-DUN DUN-DUN! DUNUHNUUUUUUH NUHNUHNUUUUUH!
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    ”I don’t care what you say, Dr. Grant - I don’t want to be a paleontologist! When I grow up I’m going to be a famous...
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    my micro biology teacher said she had that kid have dinner at her house once after he was all grown up and that hes some...
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    I CAN QUOTE THIS LINE FOR LINE.
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